The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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