Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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