Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
