Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
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