one two three fourrrrnication!
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
