i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
