Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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