Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
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