I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
