Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
