Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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