Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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