I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize