Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
