my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
