Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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