i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
