They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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