i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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