Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
