The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
