The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
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