He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Randomize