I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
