He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I just want nice things and good sex
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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