She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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