Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
