He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
