i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Randomize
