So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I have already put on my inside pants.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
