im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
