I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
