I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
handjob tips. give me some.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
