oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
