Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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