The best revenge is premature balding
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
