we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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