She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
