Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
