do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
ok first of all what the fuck
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize