I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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