I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
