DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
