hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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