Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I party with great urgency now.
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