So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
