I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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