What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
