and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
