I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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