Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize