But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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