i think my tv is drunk
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
