After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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