We're like a lot better than the average bears
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I smell like Dick and happiness
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
