So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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