i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
