So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize
