like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
In other news, I just burned my penis
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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