We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
