You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
