I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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